"Your doll has a moustache."
--guy behind me, in chuch, in a rather annoyed voice.

I should just have a section for things I mishear

Heard at work:
Check your changerooms, if you have any customers send them here, I'll beat them!


apparently she had said send them here I'll ring them through.

Happy customer

A very happy customer came into the change room one day and excitably asked me (the salesperson) "Did you know that there's 50% off the clearance today?"
I didn't know if I should tell her I worked there but she was so damn happy I couldn't spoil the moment.

Sometimes Stereotyping IS right

I was driving home from work and hit some busy traffic on the main street. I ended up behind this truck with a dirty, rusty, old quarter height, open trailer. An image of a hillbilly at the wheel crossed my mind. As I was driving I noticed them put on the breaks and angrily muttered "that's right, turn into KFC" . THat was when they put on their turn signal, and I looked up to see that the resturant they had choesn to go into was KFC.

a slobby bitch

it was my second day on the job, just fifteen minutes till closing time and a woman went into the changeroom with two armfuls of clothing. My coworker warned her of the time but she said she would be fine. When the woman walked out with her arms empty my coworker asked if there were any clothes in the changeroom, her reply was "oh yes, there's a TON in there."
I decided to clean out the room.
The hangers and clothing had been thrown aroun the room, the clothes were actually inside out. Nothing was on a chair or a hook. I didn't mind, I shrugged it off and cleaned but then another coworker came in to help me, and at the sight of the mess annoucned, "what a bitch!" I tried to laugh but she refused to let me, exclaiming, "no, somebody who does this is a bitch!"
It was at this moment that the mother with her eight year old daughter who had been in the next room decided to walk past us to the cash.

The woman with a twitch

I was stanind in line at Walmart to hand in a resume for a job, and this woman came to stand beside me, I noticed she had a horrible eye twitch, so i tried to not look at her.
While we were waiting for the idiots at Customer Service to figure out how to exchange a man's bike for another one (that he had already brought the customer service) this woman recieved a phone call. For some idiot reason she thought iwas eavsdropping and when she was done on the phone she continued the conversation with myself, assuming I had heard everything. Standing in line, pretending I cared about what this woman was saying made me realize that a lot of the employees and customers are just like her. I did hand in my application though, it would have looked odd for me to wait there for twenty minutes and then take off right when they finished, but i really hope they don't call me back. :(

The anxious man with a bag of nuts

There was a man at the bus stop yesterday. He sat on the wet bench with the bus schedual laid out over him. He also held a bag of nuts, i think cashews (at the risk of sounded perverted, lets say cashews). He would concentrate very hard on chewing each cashew he had but whenever the sign of a bus would come he would stop his chewing and look up to watch the bus. Once he discovered it was not his bus he would go back to eating his cashews and studying hte bus schedual.